Feign Death amusment (a true story plus commentary)

Sotaudi · 06-25-2005, 04:33 AM

I posted this in the Brawler forum, but since I suspect that is read less often than this forum, and since I am going to hit monk-hood tonight, I thought I woud reprint it here.

I thought I would relate this odd incident with feign death, mainly because it was funny.

I was fighting some (grouped, non-heroic) gnolls on that small hill between the waterfall near Blackburrow and the crow fields near the Steppes Griffin Station. Because there were two casters in the group, and because my HO completion attacks kept missing, causing several HOs to not fire, by the time I got down to the last gnoll, it was apparent that I was not going to win the fight. So, I did what any self-respecting Brawler would do, I screamed like a girl and ran.

I headed downstream away from the waterfall, and, because my side of the bank was going to soon be populated with highway men ... well, and highway women .... highway people?... okay ... entities without my best interests in mind, I crossed the river and contined downstream. Since the Gnoll apparently did not mind smelling like a wet dog, he crossed the river and continued to follow me and continued to hit me.

Now, I had only tried out feign death once in an experiment, so I decided to see how well it would work in actual combat conditions. After all, this seemed an appropriate time, more appropriate than, say, running up to a group of gnolls, making a rude comment about their mothers, then immediately feigning death. Anyway, I hit the feign death icon and fell dramatically to the ground in a performance that has not been witnessed since -- oh, I don't know -- since some really good performance.

The gnoll was obviously confused, probably by the depth of my acting. He hit me, ran a short distance away, thought better of it, came back and hit me again. After doing this a couple of times, it appeared that despite the fact that he was pretty sure I still had health when I went down and that he had not hit me just prior to my collapse, he just could not get past the realistic way I "perished" right before his eyes. So he ran off.

Now, naturally, I expected him to go back to where I had engaged him the first time, you know, to check on his fallen companions, maybe apply a little CPR to try to save them. But no. Rather than crossing the river again, he ran upstream towards the waterfall. I can only assume that, outside the excitement of battle, he had thought better of being labeled with that wet dog smell stigma (gnolls can be pretty harsh about that kind of thing), and decided to cross back to the battle site by crossing under the waterfall without having to swim back.

So I watched him a bit, and about the time he got to the gnolls that hang out by the pond near the falls on the Blackburrow side of the bank, there was a flurry of activity. Being that I was a ways down the river still feigning death waiting for my health to recover some, I can only speculate as to the conversation that must have ensued. But I am fairly certain that as he described the fearsome battle that had taken place in which he was the only survivor (and I expect he probably belabored that point), it became apparent to at least one of them that, from his description of my perfect form, I must be a Brawler. So naturally, they knew I could feign death. Once that came out, I have no doubt that he was never going to hear the end of that if he did not come back and check. Of course, they were not going to let him just run down and take his word on my "condition." So while I lay there recovering and working on my Oscar acceptance speech, all of the sudden I start getting hit again.

I look up, and still a fair ways down stream a whole group of gnolls, this time a heroic group, are charging down the river bank tossing some kind of magic attacks at my obviously deceased body. (Gnolls are not known for their respect of the dead.)

Now, it was not that I did not feel that my performance was not of such high caliber so as it would not fool these obviously low-brow and unsophisticated miscreants, and it was not that I did not feel that, even in my still weakened condition, I could not take out a fresh heroic group of gnolls along with the lone survivor of my original fight. However, I did realize that I had promised that I would call my theatrical agent, and I would not want to be so rude as to keep him waiting.

So I got up an ran. They were so impressed, that they continued chasing me for a bit, I assume hoping to get an autograph. But I made it a policy a long time ago that I woud not do such things, so I just kept running until they gave up. It did not take long because gnolls have very short attention spans, and besides, I thew a stick and yelled "fetch."

After I recovered, I did go back and find the original Gnoll and finished him off before his headquarters could send him some replacements, and after a couple more levels, I am going to go over and visit some retribution on the ones who so rudely interrupted my performance (I understand that the Oscar may now go to someone else). But I just found the situtation rather amusing, and I thought I would share it with you.

Message Edited by Sotaudi on 06-25-2005 02:42 PM

bonesbro · 06-25-2005, 04:56 AM

Well told

IrulanDunedanc · 06-25-2005, 10:26 AM

Wow. Nicely done.

Tarvos · 06-26-2005, 07:53 PM

Very impressive story, I am sure someone will forward this to the Oscar selection committee so that the situation can be taken into account.

Desulto · 06-27-2005, 08:33 PM

Great story! SMILEY

Sotaudi · 06-27-2005, 09:01 PM

/bow

Thank you for your kind words. I shall not forget the little people as I shoot to mediocre-ic stardom.

Uanelven · 06-28-2005, 03:23 PM

lol :smileyvery-happy: nice.

Morrolan V · 06-28-2005, 06:39 PM

LOL! :smileyvery-happy:

Very nice.

Xita · 06-28-2005, 09:45 PM

excellent story SMILEY

who said you cant have any fun with gnolls?

Owa · 06-28-2005, 09:56 PM

Ok, Mr So-Called-Sotaudi - I do the funny posts around here! Now don't let me catch you being funny on the Monk boards again or I'll show you a real bruising - capice?

:smileymad:

IrulanDunedanc · 06-28-2005, 10:28 PM

When did we get a comedy Mafia in here? :smileytongue:

Sotaudi · 06-29-2005, 01:02 AM

annaspider wrote:

Ok, Mr So-Called-Sotaudi - I do the funny posts around here! Now don't let me catch you being funny on the Monk boards again or I'll show you a real bruising - capice?

:smileymad:

Wait...would that not have to be a real monking? The bruiser boards are in another forum.

Desulto · 06-29-2005, 02:37 AM

Sotaudi wrote:

annaspider wrote:

Ok, Mr So-Called-Sotaudi - I do the funny posts around here! Now don't let me catch you being funny on the Monk boards again or I'll show you a real bruising - capice?

:smileymad:

Wait...would that not have to be a real monking? The bruiser boards are in another forum.

Sotaudi for teh win! SMILEY

Owa · 06-29-2005, 03:22 AM

Dammit!

Kronadin · 06-29-2005, 11:37 AM

lol, great story man. :smileyvery-happy:

Alaile · 07-02-2005, 06:22 PM

Great story! I loved it SMILEY

06-25-2005, 04:33 AM	#1
Sotaudi Loremaster Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 271	I posted this in the Brawler forum, but since I suspect that is read less often than this forum, and since I am going to hit monk-hood tonight, I thought I woud reprint it here. I thought I would relate this odd incident with feign death, mainly because it was funny. I was fighting some (grouped, non-heroic) gnolls on that small hill between the waterfall near Blackburrow and the crow fields near the Steppes Griffin Station. Because there were two casters in the group, and because my HO completion attacks kept missing, causing several HOs to not fire, by the time I got down to the last gnoll, it was apparent that I was not going to win the fight. So, I did what any self-respecting Brawler would do, I screamed like a girl and ran. I headed downstream away from the waterfall, and, because my side of the bank was going to soon be populated with highway men ... well, and highway women .... highway people?... okay ... entities without my best interests in mind, I crossed the river and contined downstream. Since the Gnoll apparently did not mind smelling like a wet dog, he crossed the river and continued to follow me and continued to hit me. Now, I had only tried out feign death once in an experiment, so I decided to see how well it would work in actual combat conditions. After all, this seemed an appropriate time, more appropriate than, say, running up to a group of gnolls, making a rude comment about their mothers, then immediately feigning death. Anyway, I hit the feign death icon and fell dramatically to the ground in a performance that has not been witnessed since -- oh, I don't know -- since some really good performance. The gnoll was obviously confused, probably by the depth of my acting. He hit me, ran a short distance away, thought better of it, came back and hit me again. After doing this a couple of times, it appeared that despite the fact that he was pretty sure I still had health when I went down and that he had not hit me just prior to my collapse, he just could not get past the realistic way I "perished" right before his eyes. So he ran off. Now, naturally, I expected him to go back to where I had engaged him the first time, you know, to check on his fallen companions, maybe apply a little CPR to try to save them. But no. Rather than crossing the river again, he ran upstream towards the waterfall. I can only assume that, outside the excitement of battle, he had thought better of being labeled with that wet dog smell stigma (gnolls can be pretty harsh about that kind of thing), and decided to cross back to the battle site by crossing under the waterfall without having to swim back. So I watched him a bit, and about the time he got to the gnolls that hang out by the pond near the falls on the Blackburrow side of the bank, there was a flurry of activity. Being that I was a ways down the river still feigning death waiting for my health to recover some, I can only speculate as to the conversation that must have ensued. But I am fairly certain that as he described the fearsome battle that had taken place in which he was the only survivor (and I expect he probably belabored that point), it became apparent to at least one of them that, from his description of my perfect form, I must be a Brawler. So naturally, they knew I could feign death. Once that came out, I have no doubt that he was never going to hear the end of that if he did not come back and check. Of course, they were not going to let him just run down and take his word on my "condition." So while I lay there recovering and working on my Oscar acceptance speech, all of the sudden I start getting hit again. I look up, and still a fair ways down stream a whole group of gnolls, this time a heroic group, are charging down the river bank tossing some kind of magic attacks at my obviously deceased body. (Gnolls are not known for their respect of the dead.) Now, it was not that I did not feel that my performance was not of such high caliber so as it would not fool these obviously low-brow and unsophisticated miscreants, and it was not that I did not feel that, even in my still weakened condition, I could not take out a fresh heroic group of gnolls along with the lone survivor of my original fight. However, I did realize that I had promised that I would call my theatrical agent, and I would not want to be so rude as to keep him waiting. So I got up an ran. They were so impressed, that they continued chasing me for a bit, I assume hoping to get an autograph. But I made it a policy a long time ago that I woud not do such things, so I just kept running until they gave up. It did not take long because gnolls have very short attention spans, and besides, I thew a stick and yelled "fetch." After I recovered, I did go back and find the original Gnoll and finished him off before his headquarters could send him some replacements, and after a couple more levels, I am going to go over and visit some retribution on the ones who so rudely interrupted my performance (I understand that the Oscar may now go to someone else). But I just found the situtation rather amusing, and I thought I would share it with you. Message Edited by Sotaudi on 06-25-2005 02:42 PM __________________ Sotaudi - Wood Elf - Ranger Quaroon - Erudite - Illusionist Siegur - Kerra - Monk Breven - Froglok - Fury Voxin - Ratonga - Assassin

06-25-2005, 04:56 AM	#2
bonesbro Loremaster Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 651	Well told __________________ Legond of Najena, Monk Ancient.

06-26-2005, 07:53 PM	#4
Tarvos Loremaster Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Michigan Posts: 48	Very impressive story, I am sure someone will forward this to the Oscar selection committee so that the situation can be taken into account. __________________

06-27-2005, 08:33 PM	#5
Desulto Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 37	Great story! __________________

06-27-2005, 09:01 PM	#6
Sotaudi Loremaster Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 271	/bow Thank you for your kind words. I shall not forget the little people as I shoot to mediocre-ic stardom. __________________ Sotaudi - Wood Elf - Ranger Quaroon - Erudite - Illusionist Siegur - Kerra - Monk Breven - Froglok - Fury Voxin - Ratonga - Assassin

06-25-2005, 10:26 AM	#3
IrulanDunedanc Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 142	Wow. Nicely done.

06-28-2005, 03:23 PM	#7
Uanelven Loremaster Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 465	lol :smileyvery-happy: nice. __________________ Uanelven : - Necromancer -

06-28-2005, 06:39 PM	#8
Morrolan V Loremaster Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 624	LOL! :smileyvery-happy: Very nice.

06-28-2005, 09:45 PM	#9
Xita Loremaster Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 308	excellent story who said you cant have any fun with gnolls? __________________

06-28-2005, 09:56 PM	#10
Owa General Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 944	Ok, Mr So-Called-Sotaudi - I do the funny posts around here! Now don't let me catch you being funny on the Monk boards again or I'll show you a real bruising - capice? :smileymad: __________________

06-28-2005, 10:28 PM	#11
IrulanDunedanc Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 142	When did we get a comedy Mafia in here? :smileytongue:

06-29-2005, 01:02 AM	#12
Sotaudi Loremaster Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 271	annaspider wrote: Ok, Mr So-Called-Sotaudi - I do the funny posts around here! Now don't let me catch you being funny on the Monk boards again or I'll show you a real bruising - capice? :smileymad: Wait...would that not have to be a real monking? The bruiser boards are in another forum. __________________ Sotaudi - Wood Elf - Ranger Quaroon - Erudite - Illusionist Siegur - Kerra - Monk Breven - Froglok - Fury Voxin - Ratonga - Assassin

06-29-2005, 02:37 AM	#13
Desulto Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 37	Sotaudi wrote: annaspider wrote: Ok, Mr So-Called-Sotaudi - I do the funny posts around here! Now don't let me catch you being funny on the Monk boards again or I'll show you a real bruising - capice? :smileymad: Wait...would that not have to be a real monking? The bruiser boards are in another forum. Sotaudi for teh win! __________________

06-29-2005, 03:22 AM	#14
Owa General Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 944	Dammit! __________________

06-29-2005, 11:37 AM	#15
Kronadin Loremaster Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 154	lol, great story man. :smileyvery-happy: __________________

07-02-2005, 06:22 PM	#16
Alaile Loremaster Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 48	Great story! I loved it __________________