EQ2 Forum Archive @ EQ2Wire

 

Go Back   EQ2 Forum Archive @ EQ2Wire > EverQuest II > The Tavern > Traveler's Tales
Members List Search Mark Forums Read

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 09-01-2005, 11:51 PM   #151
Barthalemeou2

Loremaster
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6
Default

more please i am addicted.
Barthalemeou2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2005, 12:17 AM   #152
Landr

 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 1
Default

Wow...this story is so addicting! Read it all over the last few days and now I know why the loyal fans have been fiending. I am so glad this popped up in hot topic =). anyway, keep up the good work!

 

-Landrek,

 Nektulos Server

Landr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2005, 02:16 PM   #153
Zerag

 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 1
Default

I just love this story keep it comming... I especially like it that there is an Iksar as the main char. Go Go Iksars
Zerag is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2005, 02:31 PM   #154
HappyNin

General
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 14
Default

Eh.  Decent story so far.  There were some times where I was like "Ugh, what the hell is this?"  Some parts just don't seem to be thought through as well, or lack imagination.  And the grammatical errors!  Geez man!  MS Word has a spellcheck.  Or you could at least proofread your posts before throwing them up.  Addicted fans or not, quality is key. Needless to say, you're no R.A. Salvatore.  But for being a free read, it's worth it. Edited to move a comma. Oh ya, this "thru" thing is driving me batty.  As you all know, slang terms and spellings are constantly added to dictionarys, but that doesn't make it proper english.  You're fine to stand by your spelling.  But for us English majors it's an eyesore.

Message Edited by HappyNinja on 09-02-2005 03:37 AM

HappyNin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2005, 06:03 PM   #155
Solst

Loremaster
Solst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 9
Default

Please ignore the delirous ninja, the story is wonderful.  I'm sure you have better things to do than entertain us, but I'm glad you have chosen to share this story with us.  I doubt the criticism will bother you though, since Iksars have such thick skin :smileywink: May your quill stay sharp and your inkwell always be full
Solst is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2005, 06:47 PM   #156
JebtheDru

General
JebtheDru's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 5
Default

:smileywink:well you get my vote it is a very good story :smileyvery-happy: hey most college grades cant spell well either I read alot of fiction and it would stand up with some good editing who know mayber they might give you  permision to publush in the next book they put out, your writing reminds me of  an bard we had in my guild on Lulin server of eq1 waiting for more please carry on. (oh well you get this post unspell checked hehe it broken agian)
__________________
Jebadiazoran Guild Leader Defenders of the Lost Realm EQ2 Nektulos Server

Jebadiazoran Guild Mentor Defenders of the Lost Ream EQ1 Luclin Server
JebtheDru is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2005, 08:14 PM   #157
cattie br

General
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Dreadblade - Butcherblock
Posts: 25
Default

Read the story so far from beginning to end, looking everyday for the next one. SMILEY  great story and great writing. Thank You for bringing us this FREE story and not going out of your way for funny ninjas :smileymad: oh and hey u got me back into reading, i stopped for too long...
cattie br is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2005, 09:15 PM   #158
shaho

 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3
Default

you must really have SOE's attention with this story since they posted a link to it on the main update/start up page.  that is how i found it.  a realy nice and intreaging story.  cant wait for the next post and will check back often.  keep it up
shaho is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2005, 09:23 PM   #159
Kittypoo

Loremaster
Kittypoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: California
Posts: 83
Default

Pay no attention to that ninja behind the curtain.  We love your story and your characters.  They've become like family....and I will defend them to the death !!!

Please, feed my imagination SMILEY

Phayd

 

__________________
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Kittypoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2005, 09:50 PM   #160
Ad

 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: South Carolina,USA
Posts: 5
Default


 


Kittypoo wrote:

Pay no attention to that ninja behind the curtain.  We love your story and your characters.  They've become like family....and I will defend them to the death !!!

Please, feed my imagination SMILEY

Phayd

 




what they said plus some..............:smileytongue:

Adoc

__________________

Adoc
Level 9 Scout
Neriak Server
Ad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2005, 05:28 AM   #161
Nebbeny

Tester
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 420
Default

jeez man, calm down.  It's a [Removed for Content] free read and look at the length, and if you paid attention you would realize he's doing this during work or in his FREE time, that means he's spending alot of his time writing a story and he doesn't have the time of day to look at every word, and go through the dictionairy finding out if it's right or not.  I read, alot, no other word for it.  I've been reading books since year 4 because i can, and do enjoy it (not to mention it doesn't cost my family a thing, we've had these books a long time since my father and mothers side of the family enjoy the same type of books) i find mistakes in these books and they're big names in the fiction area, you know, Gemmal and Eddings etc. (i cant spell names to save my life oh please dont flame me for that) if it's the writers fault for about a dozen mistakes in a 600 page book, all in small print, then it's his fault for getting the other words all correct!  Dont forget he has to remember the names and how to spell them etc.  Please link us to a work of fiction you've typed up yourself and let us at any mistakes you may or may not of made.

 

When you get someone starting something, and they are new to it (not saying you are new Tarvos :smileywink: ) do you put them down and make them feel bad about themselves when they make a mistake? No you help them and guide them to the mistake they made, and help them acheive and get better.  So instead of flaming him, maybe encourage him?  you do know you can get good feellings like that too?  Which most people dont consider twisted and nasty.  shame they took out one stars, after writing this i would one star you, and have a good reason, as im sure plenty of other people would, now can you please leave off this guys back and go do something productive to the world

Nebbeny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2005, 07:28 AM   #162
Running Wo

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 1
Default

No worries mate!!  Happy Ninja is just volunteering to do some free editing, etc.  Everyone who is anyone in the writing business knows that writes suck at editing their own work - it is just a fact of life.  Besides, it requires a certain mindset (shall we say '[expletive ninja'd by Faarbot]') to be an editor.  As a matter of fact, in most circles, editors are used in the same sentence with words like squid, wuss, spineless, unimaginitive, blah, blaj, blah.  Not, mind you, that I am in any way implying that Happy Ninja is any of the above (not being an editor by trade, I would just come right out and say those things).

I think it is great that a member of the community has volunteered to do some editing - and Happy, my thoughts are pretty simple... First, R.A. Salvatore is a second rate author at best, and was a fledgling writer when his first book was published (not to mention he had a pretty shtotty editor).  You speak very highly of English ad writing, yet cite sub-par authors.  SMILEY  I realize that could have been construed as an offense to the Dragon fella, (fella, not fellow - fellows you know ;p), and if it was then kudos to you for a creative slight - but I fear from the tone of your post it was anything but.  For shame.

*sings* sticks and stones...

*taps foot* whoah yeah!!

*dodges a stone*

Sorry, my meds haven't kicked in yet.

So anyway - Good story Dragon Dude - it is creative, and a welcome escape from the monotony of most ther posts.  If you want some creative writing pointers or tips on how to improve your story, Happy Ninja would (I think) be 'Happy' to help. ;p

 

Finally... a word of advice to those who criticize...

Before you remark on how a thing might be better, consider first how it might be worse, and ask yourself if you would prefer that it had been worse rather than the way it is.  EVERYTHING can be improved upon, just as everything could be worse (don't you just want to punch those idiots who always say' "could be worse, duh..."?).  As I like to tell my passengers (I drive a gravy train), if you don't like the way I am drivig, you can either take the wheel or walk.  If you aren't interested in either of those two choices, shut up.

 

Running Wo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2005, 09:21 AM   #163
HappyNin

General
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 14
Default

It really is nice of you guys to defend his work for him.  But really, is it necessary?  With any form of art comes criticism.  You are pushing him to publish his works yet you try to protect him from CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.  I am not flaming.  I am offering my personal views on the story in a constructive manner.  Which will no doubt happen if he follows the advice from many on this board and puts this story out to a much broader audience.
 
And to those of you pointing out that this is a free read;  I made mention of that in my first post on the subject.  I already understand that. 
 
Since my opinion seems so popular around here I think I will add some more to it.  The only reason I offer any sort of critique at all is in hopes that it will be taken and made use of.  Hopefully it can be used to improve his writing overall.  If not, maybe it can be used to improve what's left of this story.
 
The two main characters lack depth, or just backstory.  I can't get it through my head that Tarvos just happened to be a good Iksar from the beginning.  That he only kills for self defense.  What person who kills for that reason alone would choose to become a professional assassin?  It's also preposterous to believe that he decided to be good just for the sake of the girl.  Sure, she saved his life, sure I can buy the whole "code of honor" thing among assassins.  But I can't believe that would change his entire nature.  Was he born good?  Did something in his youth change his outlook and make him an atypical among Iksar?  What the heck is going on here?
 
Also, seeing as how this is in a world we all know so well I can say this with certainty.  Druids are NOT good, they aren't evil either.  Druids are neutral.  They don't fight for morals, or justice.  They are guardians of nature, protectors of the wild.  They will kill anything that is an afront or threat to nature.  Humanoids included.  It just makes her pussycat demeanor seem out of place.  Reading about her saying that the only reason she would kill another living thing is for food is just... wrong.  What kind of druid is that?  Might as well make her a Ranger instead.  At least that way she would be a champion of justice and what is right.
 
Just my constructive 2cp.  Take it how you want it or ignore it.  It is your story after all.  Just don't flame me for being constructive.
 
BTW, for those that don't know, this is what unconstructive criticism looks like and is only an example and in no way reflects how I feel about the story:
 
"This story sucks."
 
Now tell me, which would you prefer?

Message Edited by HappyNinja on 09-03-2005 12:17 AM

HappyNin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2005, 09:36 AM   #164
HappyNin

General
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 14
Default

Here we go again... while it is true that professional writers have editors, and even mistakes get through after editing, I can say this;  I've read the entire unabridged version of "The Stand" 6 times.  In that nearly 1300 page book I can count on two hands the number of typographical errors.  But!  I have never run across a sentence I have had to read more than once to understand because of grammatical misuses.  More often than not, there is at least one sentence from each "chapter" of this story I have to read multiple times to understand what the hell the author is trying to talk about.  It simply ruins the flow of the story.
 
As for the post about R.A. Salvatore being a "second rate" author.  You, sir, are entitled to your opinion.  But with more than a dozen books published, all of which are New York Times bestsellers and have breached the top 20 for fiction work (The Two Swords was actually at #2 for quite a few weeks).  Your arguement just doesn't stand.  EVERY ONE of his books has sold millions of copies.  He is quite possibly the best fantasy fiction writer living now, possibly that has lived.  The stories he writes keeps me engaged from page one to the back cover of the book.  The sentence structure is superb, the depth of the characters is unparralelled.  There are very few other authors that I have read (and there have been many) that write in such a way where I can form a crystal clear picture of everything that is happening on the pages.  His attention to detail is brilliant.  But like I said.  Your opinion is your opinion.  And I don't view contrasting the work of this author against one of the best fantasy fiction writers of this era a literary slight.  Apples to apples. Meant to add this to the above post, but it didn't work out that way.

Message Edited by HappyNinja on 09-03-2005 12:20 AM

HappyNin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2005, 10:58 AM   #165
Yamene

Loremaster
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 156
Default

ok well i started reading this thread last night....and im addicted already...so we need more of the story..please..and thank you..lol..this is very entertaining for me....please write more..and  i will be one of the first people to buy your book on these two...=)

Yamene Silverwings

22 mystic

__________________

border="0">

Yamene is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2005, 11:05 AM   #166
Maja

 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 3
Default

Ok Guys...I've been reading this the whole time and I love it....But Whether good or bad commants...Please Leave this thread to the writer....I wanna see more story not any of the Back and forth crap.....So take it too another Thread or somthing.....BTW Great work Tarvos...Maybe SOE will offer you a job lol.....
Maja is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2005, 11:12 AM   #167
HappyNin

General
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 14
Default

No need for us to take this TO another thread.  Constructive crticism should be welcomed and invited.  Adversity breeds strength.  So they say.  Any negative comments should help the writer strive to do better.  Any positive comment would probably serve to motivate the writer more.  There is a reason your mouse has a scroll wheel.  It's not necessary for you to read every post you don't want to read.  Criticism is posted for the benefit of the author alone.  We're not telling you what you should feel about the story. Stupid sticky work keyboard.  Edited to fix a typo.

Message Edited by HappyNinja on 09-03-2005 12:13 AM

HappyNin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2005, 06:48 PM   #168
Markhe

 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 57
Default


HappyNinja wrote:
 
As for the post about R.A. Salvatore being a "second rate" author.  You, sir, are entitled to your opinion.  But with more than a dozen books published, all of which are New York Times bestsellers and have breached the top 20 for fiction work (The Two Swords was actually at #2 for quite a few weeks).  Your arguement just doesn't stand.  EVERY ONE of his books has sold millions of copies.  He is quite possibly the best fantasy fiction writer living now, possibly that has lived.  The stories he writes keeps me engaged from page one to the back cover of the book.  The sentence structure is superb, the depth of the characters is unparralelled.  There are very few other authors that I have read (and there have been many) that write in such a way where I can form a crystal clear picture of everything that is happening on the pages.  His attention to detail is brilliant.  But like I said.  Your opinion is your opinion.  And I don't view contrasting the work of this author against one of the best fantasy fiction writers of this era a literary slight.  Apples to apples.

I wholeheartedly concur, because the day someone tells you, "your writing reminds me of R.A. Salvatore" will be the day you know your work is publishable. I do have to say your feedback comes across as a little strong, but that can be good when an author swallows their pride.  I think the rest of the responses need to focus more on the work and less on others' opinions. /demand more SMILEY
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~

Markhera Seylas`Kizrad - Retired
GMs told my wife if she wasn't happy with the game she should just quit. So we did. Thanks for the advice, Sony.
Markhe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2005, 07:49 PM   #169
Maja

 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 3
Default

Ninja....The Thing is NO ONE WHO READS THIS CARES!!!Except maybe the writer....which is fine....Send him a PM or something then with your thoughts....Don't filll up this thread with posts....Let the Writer do that so we can have more Story....
Maja is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2005, 08:22 PM   #170
Lashanach

 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Gastonia, NC
Posts: 5
Default

lol you guys could just chill out and patiently wait so you do not scare him off before he finishes the story
__________________
-------------
Akikia
SK of Guk
Lashanach is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2005, 11:31 PM   #171
Dark_Moons_Rising

Loremaster
Dark_Moons_Rising's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 37
Default

Happyninja, you wrote this (Eh.  Decent story so far.  There were some times where I was like "Ugh, what the hell is this?"  Some parts just don't seem to be thought through as well, or lack imagination.  And the grammatical errors!&nbspSMILEY:smileywink: and i assume that you have a better story going on in these boards someplace ??

i congratulate the man for keeping so many ouf us amused and coming back for more.  You call salvator a second rate author? does that mean your in the position to do so,, how many books have you got out that are published? im not flaming you but just a word of advice from an old wolf, We do not throw stones at ones that we cannot do better than.. Or even better yet,, in the words of a halfling i recently met " never rend more than you can chew"

Keep up the good work drag,, and im looking forward to a long long story.:smileyhappy:

Ledoakain

Level 43+ ranger

HIghkeep server

 

__________________
Amaryllis Wintersbloom

Level 80 Swashbuckler



Ledoakain Mistrunner
Level 80 ranger
Dark_Moons_Rising is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-04-2005, 03:14 AM   #172
y

 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 19
Default

Speaking as someone who knows Dregon in REAL LIFE, I find that all these compliments and "constructive criticism's" to be absolutely hilarious.  Dregon is one of my good friends and i make fun of his crappy grammar all the time.  His answer to me, "Well, if you care, go fix it..."  And i do sometimes.  So, HappyNinja, if you care, i'm sure that Dregon would be willing to let you edit it for him.  If you aren't willing, then don't complain.  Also, not to continue an argument or anything, but R.A. Salvatore is an excellent author.  And one final note, this story is a work in progress, so backstories for characters could very well be coming to a forum near you...
y is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-04-2005, 10:24 AM   #173
HappyNin

General
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 14
Default


Dark_Moons_Rising wrote:

Happyninja, you wrote this (Eh.  Decent story so far.  There were some times where I was like "Ugh, what the hell is this?"  Some parts just don't seem to be thought through as well, or lack imagination.  And the grammatical errors!&nbspSMILEY:smileywink: and i assume that you have a better story going on in these boards someplace ??

i congratulate the man for keeping so many ouf us amused and coming back for more.  You call salvator a second rate author? does that mean your in the position to do so,, how many books have you got out that are published? im not flaming you but just a word of advice from an old wolf, We do not throw stones at ones that we cannot do better than.. Or even better yet,, in the words of a halfling i recently met " never rend more than you can chew"

Keep up the good work drag,, and im looking forward to a long long story.:smileyhappy:

Ledoakain

Level 43+ ranger

HIghkeep server


No, Dark.  *I* never called Salvatore a second rate author.  Please review my posts on the subject again.  As far as published works?  Actually yes, I have been published.  Not as a professional writer mind you.  But I do have an essay on the topic of Henry Ford that was published due to winning first place in an essay contest among 6th graders nationwide.  I also have a collection of poems published, due again to winning a writing contest among 8th graders in the state of Arizona.  I don't claim to be a perfect writer, but neither am I unqualified to critique another persons writing.
HappyNin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2005, 12:11 AM   #174
Anr

 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 14
Default

I finished reading the story up to here not just 2 hours ago and i think that you have done exellent so far. What gramical errors Ninja it read through perfectly for me. Keep up the good work i would love to see this get published in the end.
Anr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2005, 02:50 AM   #175
y

 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 19
Default

Well, well, well, thank God for Happyninja's writing experience, without it I don't think anyone would ever have noticed that Dregon's work was indeed, imperfect.  As for your credentials, LaughableNinja, I won a Bible Verse Memorization contest in Sunday School once, but that doesn't make me God, unfortuanately.  And I apologize to all of you who are tired of this ongoing saga of posts between  Ninja and others, but  I just got home from work and couldn't keep my sarcasm under as close of control as i preferred.  Now, on to the story, please, if anything just to distract ourselves from our petty differences.
y is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-05-2005, 05:43 AM   #176
Yamene

Loremaster
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 156
Default

i don't think it really matters if there are errors i think he is writing this for entertainment and i think he is doing a wonderful job..and i hope he keeps writing becuase i want to know what happens to the little druid and scout...so please write on....
__________________

border="0">

Yamene is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-06-2005, 08:52 AM   #177
psychotikfrog

Loremaster
psychotikfrog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 47
Default

Wow, I came online for the first time in a couple of weeks, saw 51 new additions to the thread and thought "Gee, he's been doing a lot to the story!"

Then I find he's only done ONE of those 51 posts...pretty sad on that part.

Back in your box the lot of you, let him write.

psychotikfrog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-06-2005, 03:23 PM   #178
Cowdenic

 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 492
Default

Somebody please come in and clean up this thread, delete the extra crap so that it is clean. Including this post SMILEY
__________________
70 Templar Befallen, Xlrate
70 Warlock Befallen, Boom
23 Swashbuckler Befallen, Dreadmore
18 Troubador Befallen, Xenus
I am a M.O.F.O.
Misfits of the Forgotten Order
Cowdenic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-06-2005, 09:50 PM   #179
Lashanach

 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Gastonia, NC
Posts: 5
Default

in the immortal words of the uncut version of Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail....

 

GET ON WITH IT!!!!!

 

well, I go' betta

Message Edited by Lashanachar on 09-06-2005 10:50 AM

__________________
-------------
Akikia
SK of Guk
Lashanach is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2005, 09:05 PM   #180
JarredDarque

Loremaster
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 270
Default

Please dont scrae him off, I would like to read, the rest of the story.
__________________
-Jarred Darque-Sanctus Covenir
-Server-Unrest
-Lvl 70 Pally, 70 Armorer
-
JarredDarque is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:59 AM.

vBulletin skin by: CompleteGFX.com
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All threads and posts originally from the EQ2 and Station forums operated by Sony Online Entertainment. Their use is by express written permission.