I usually have no problem with the single target damage dealers so long as they target through me. The hate proc takes care of the rest. All of my hate gen abilities are master 1/2, though.
As far as gear goes, check out the stickied thread at the top of this forum. It has a good chunk of the legendary and fabled gear available in t7 (almost all of the kos stuff and some of the eof stuff) along with the mob that drops it or the quest that gives it. The rewards from the claymore series in PoA are particlularly good for tanks, including many pieces of jewelry that give phys mit bonuses. In addition, the light and dark chitin rings that the devourer drops are both great for tanks. The legendary class sets in eof are great as well. The pieces drop off of zone bosses. Off the top of my head: boots are from Obelisk of Blight, Shoulders (tradable) from the butler in MM Catacombs, wristguards from Valdoon, and gloves (tradable) are from the avatar in Kaladim.