Things a Lizard Will Do to Look Pretty...

Deltree_c · 08-30-2005, 05:28 PM

Click here to skip the cute stuff and just see the picture.

One time, a scrawny but fashion conscious warlock critter saw a robe. But it wasn't just any robe. It was the prettiest...robe...ever! So he asked the tall, voluptuous high elf wearing it, "Where did you get that robe! I must have one! I must I must I muuuuust!" and the high elf stammered "Uhh, my friend got it for me." Now, the scrawny little warlock had no money, but he did know a big, strong paladin who was swimming in it. "Oh please oh please oh pleeeeeease buy me one!" he begged. And the big strong paladin rolled his eyes and said "If it will shut you up!" and the scrawny little warlock agreed to shut up and went about his business whacking fairies and turtles and badgers.

And the paladin checked his search engine of choice (for the gnomes in North Qeynos had recently installed a jumjum can/fishing line communication network) and researched the robe in question. With "Marr" in the name, it has to be splendid! And so he checked the broker twice a day for this robe. "Not today," the broker would say, "but we do have Potions of Marr, and Salves of Marr, and Great Marrowsplitters!" and the big strong paladin would shake his head and amble off. And so this continued for nearly three months, before the big strong paladin snapped. Oh yes, he snapped big time. If he couldn't buy peace and quiet from his beraggled warlock friend, he would have to fight for it. He trudged straight into the Tombs of Night, and for three cruel, agonizing, and mind-numbingly boring days, patiently followed the orders of the whiny human folk in the tents outside. What with their shiny armor and their nicely styled hair and their dignity.

And at last! The robe was in his grimey claws. Now he could find something else to obsess about!

"Power of Marr, huh?" the big strong paladin thought. "I wonder what he would do with...wait..."

"What?!? No!!!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Curses! Foiled! Flummoxed! Thwarted! Unacceptable! Now the scrawny little warlock would remain ugly and whiney, and the big strong paladin was stuck with...

"...I could get used to this."

"..."

"...I'm...I'm...pretty!"

And thus, the big strong paladin became the Indigo Lizard and the warlock was eaten by manta rays. The end.

Vimy · 08-30-2005, 08:32 PM

Hehe, very nice. 5 stars for you! :smileywink:

Markhe · 08-31-2005, 07:51 AM

Remember, when the soft-skins tell you you're ugly, it's just tail envy.

Jamanea · 09-01-2005, 03:24 PM

:smileyvery-happy:

Great story!

JudyJudy · 09-02-2005, 02:06 AM

LOL :smileyvery-happy:

Awesome!

08-30-2005, 08:32 PM	#2
Vimy Loremaster Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 109	Hehe, very nice. 5 stars for you! :smileywink: __________________ I am Scissors, Paper is fine, Nerf rock

08-31-2005, 07:51 AM	#3
Markhe Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 57	Remember, when the soft-skins tell you you're ugly, it's just tail envy. __________________ ~~~~~~~~~~ Markhera Seylas`Kizrad - Retired GMs told my wife if she wasn't happy with the game she should just quit. So we did. Thanks for the advice, Sony.

09-02-2005, 02:06 AM	#5
JudyJudy Lord Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 368	LOL :smileyvery-happy: Awesome! __________________

08-30-2005, 05:28 PM	#1
Deltree_c Loremaster Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: South Carolina, USA Posts: 265	Click here to skip the cute stuff and just see the picture. One time, a scrawny but fashion conscious warlock critter saw a robe. But it wasn't just any robe. It was the prettiest...robe...ever! So he asked the tall, voluptuous high elf wearing it, "Where did you get that robe! I must have one! I must I must I muuuuust!" and the high elf stammered "Uhh, my friend got it for me." Now, the scrawny little warlock had no money, but he did know a big, strong paladin who was swimming in it. "Oh please oh please oh pleeeeeease buy me one!" he begged. And the big strong paladin rolled his eyes and said "If it will shut you up!" and the scrawny little warlock agreed to shut up and went about his business whacking fairies and turtles and badgers. And the paladin checked his search engine of choice (for the gnomes in North Qeynos had recently installed a jumjum can/fishing line communication network) and researched the robe in question. With "Marr" in the name, it has to be splendid! And so he checked the broker twice a day for this robe. "Not today," the broker would say, "but we do have Potions of Marr, and Salves of Marr, and Great Marrowsplitters!" and the big strong paladin would shake his head and amble off. And so this continued for nearly three months, before the big strong paladin snapped. Oh yes, he snapped big time. If he couldn't buy peace and quiet from his beraggled warlock friend, he would have to fight for it. He trudged straight into the Tombs of Night, and for three cruel, agonizing, and mind-numbingly boring days, patiently followed the orders of the whiny human folk in the tents outside. What with their shiny armor and their nicely styled hair and their dignity. And at last! The robe was in his grimey claws. Now he could find something else to obsess about! "Power of Marr, huh?" the big strong paladin thought. "I wonder what he would do with...wait..." "What?!? No!!!" *"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"* Curses! Foiled! Flummoxed! Thwarted! Unacceptable! Now the scrawny little warlock would remain ugly and whiney, and the big strong paladin was stuck with... "...I could get used to this." "..." "...I'm...I'm...pretty!" And thus, the big strong paladin became the Indigo Lizard and the warlock was eaten by manta rays. The end.

09-01-2005, 03:24 PM	#4
Jamanea Loremaster Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 5	:smileyvery-happy: Great story!