Why Pirates are Better than Ninjas

[SenorPhrog]

<div></div>We all know that pirates are better than ninjas and most would be satisfied with such an intelligent statement.  TenTonHammer's Slide decides to think outside the box a little and use things like "comparisons" and "examples."   He takes a hillarious look at both sides...<blockquote>The interesting thing about the Pirate vs. Ninja debate is how widespread it is. It matters not where you go, be it down the street for a coffee or surfing across the web searching for 10 ways to make toast, there will be opinions about who would win in a fight or who is better overall. The unfortunate truth is that the Pirates vs. Ninjas discussion induces eye rolling almost as much as Chuck Norris facts for the simple fact that it's talked about in such tremendous quantities.</blockquote>Don't miss <a target="_blank" href="http://eq2.tentonhammer.com/index.php?module=ContentExpress&func=display&ceid=805">Pirates vs Ninjas</a> or you won't know what side you are one (pirates are better by the way). Also, Savanja finds her inner tank and brings forth a whole new guide to <a href="http://eq2.tentonhammer.com/index.php?module=ContentExpress&func=display&ceid=800" target=_blank>Beserkers</a>.  If you like to smack stuff, this class may be for you.<a href="http://eq2.tentonhammer.com/index.php?module=ContentExpress&func=display&ceid=800" target=_blank></a><div></div>

[Moorgard]

<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE> <HR> Radar-X wrote:<BR> We all know that pirates are better than ninjas and most would be satisfied with such an intelligent statement. <BR> <HR> </BLOCKQUOTE> <P><BR>I agree that most non-intelligent people would be satisfied with such a non-intelligent statement. :robotvery-happy:</P> <P>Ninjas > Pirates</P>

[Eriol]

<a href=http://www.giantitp.com/cgi-bin/GiantITP/ootscript?SK=121 target=_blank>An alternate perspective</a> on Ninja vs Pirate.OOTS FTW!

[Daramm]

<blockquote><hr>Moorgard wrote:<BLOCKQUOTE><HR>Radar-X wrote:<BR>We all know that pirates are better than ninjas and most would be satisfied with such an intelligent statement.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I agree that most non-intelligent people would be satisfied with such a non-intelligent statement. :robotvery-happy:</P><P>Ninjas > Pirates</P><hr></blockquote>QF [Removed for Content]' E.

[Star]

<DIV>Ninja's beat Pirates everytime. Moorgard knows the truth. <img src="/smilies/8a80c6485cd926be453217d59a84a888.gif" border="0" alt="SMILEY" /></DIV>

[Sonnyjim_Grumblestump]

<div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div>People who are unclear on why Pirates are superior to Ninjas need to look beyond the simple question of who would win in a battle (Pirates BTW). You need to consider the perks and job benefits experienced when embroiled in the thick of martial contest. What about after the fight? Consider who's got the better deal during off hours: <b><font color="#9966ff">Ninjas:</font></b> long, solitary, celibate sessions spent hiding between blades of grass in shadows of mountains. Painful lessons in sucking your nuts into your body cavity while your master clubs you. Endless hours toiling to decapitate bamboo dummies with every sharp object known to man. <font color="#ff9900"><b>Pirates:</b></font> Pillageing, drinking rum, and carrying off the Governor's daughter(s) Sun, beaches, coconuts. more Rum. Nuff said. Pirate games of skill and chance... <div></div><p><img src="http://members.shaw.ca/shawnf/dv/rumbunny.jpg"> </p> <p><b>  <font size="5">WInnar </font><font color="#ffcc00"><font color="#ffffff" size="5">=</font><font size="5"> Pirates.</font> </font></b> <span class="time_text"></span></p><p>Message Edited by Sonnyjim_Grumblestump on <span class=date_text>04-26-2006</span> <span class=time_text>11:44 AM</span>

[*SLiDE*]

<P>Don't... let... Blackguard... catch you guys saying such... things.</P> <P>/paranoid</P> <P> </P><p>Message Edited by *SLiDE* on <span class=date_text>04-26-2006</span> <span class=time_text>02:42 PM</span>

[Wikk]

<DIV>WWTD?</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Pirate......</DIV>

[Rezikai]

<P>eh... </P> <P>Pirates still exist.. only they use machine guns and speed boats... </P> <P>more recently i hear in the east waters off madagascar...</P> <P>how many ninjas do we hear about in the news.....?</P> <P>and legit ninjas!.. none of that "haloween Costume" mishap that happened a month or so ago..lol..</P> <P> </P> <P>Pirates  FTWARRRRRRRRGH</P>

[Daramm]

<blockquote><hr>Porkchop133 wrote:how many ninjas do we hear about in the news.....?<hr></blockquote>Of course you don't hear about ninjas. That's how you know they're doing such an awesome job.

[etaipo]

<div></div>Maybe this guy can clear up any doubtshttp://askaninja.comtoo lazy for html <img src="/smilies/3b63d1616c5dfcf29f8a7a031aaa7cad.gif" border="0" alt="SMILEY" /><div></div>

[RufusDeMar]

<P>I really had to give this one some thought, but I really lean more to the pirates.<BR><BR>It kinda depends on how you ask the question.</P> <P>Who would you rather be?   - Pirate<BR>Who would win in mortal combat?    - Ninja <BR>What lifestyle would you prefer?   - Pirate<BR>What look do you like better    - Ninja<BR>Who has more fun?    - Pirate (totally)<BR>Who is a more efficient killer?  - Ninja<BR></P> <P>It's really trying to compare apples to oranges but I think Pirates are the better choice.</P>

[Errie_Tholluxe]

<div></div>Much as I love Pirates, and play up my passion...  <a href="http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/c/chiun.htm" target=_blank>http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/c/chiun.htm</a> seems to say it all now.<div></div><p>Message Edited by Errie_Tholluxe on <span class=date_text>04-26-2006</span> <span class=time_text>05:05 PM</span>

[Diern]

<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE> <HR> Sonnyjim_Grumblestump wrote:<BR> People who are unclear on why Pirates are superior to Ninjas need to look beyond the simple question of who would win in a battle (Pirates BTW). You need to consider the perks and job benefits experienced when embroiled in the thick of martial contest.<BR><BR>What about after the fight? Consider who's got the better deal during off hours:<BR><BR><B><FONT color=#9966ff>Ninjas:</FONT></B> <BR>long, solitary, celibate sessions spent hiding between blades of grass in shadows of mountains.<BR>Painful lessons in sucking your nuts into your body cavity while your master clubs you.<BR>Endless hours toiling to decapitate bamboo dummies with every sharp object known to man. <BR><BR><FONT color=#ff9900><B>Pirates:</B></FONT><BR>Pillageing, drinking rum, and carrying off the Governor's daughter(s)<BR>Sun, beaches, coconuts. more Rum. Nuff said.<BR>Pirate games of skill and chance...<BR><BR> <P><IMG src="http://members.shaw.ca/shawnf/dv/rumbunny.jpg"><BR></P> <P><B>  <FONT size=5>WInnar </FONT><FONT color=#ffcc00><FONT color=#ffffff size=5>=</FONT><FONT size=5> Pirates.</FONT> </FONT></B><BR><SPAN class=time_text></SPAN></P><BR> <P>Message Edited by Sonnyjim_Grumblestump on <SPAN class=date_text>04-26-2006</SPAN> <SPAN class=time_text>11:44 AM</SPAN><BR> <HR> </BLOCKQUOTE> <P><BR>From your logic, I cant see how you can state pirates would win in a battle. Clearly being a pirate is more fun, but in mortal combat due to the dedication in training and subtefuge the Ninja would destroy the Pirate, anyday.</P> <P>It really depends on your perspective.</P> <P>You want to be the best at combat and all round awesomeness ...... Ninja</P> <P>You want a life of fun, plundering and drinking ......... Pirate</P> <P>It really is apples and oranges.</P> <P>Here is another perpective.....</P> <P>We all know Batman is a ninja, and Batman can own any pirate (no dont try and argue). Hell he owns superman on a consistant basis......</P><p>Message Edited by Diernes on <span class=date_text>04-27-2006</span> <span class=time_text>01:52 PM</span>

[Blackguard]

/script target:AllNinjaFans("Ban") <div></div>

[TangBaBa]

Anyone still not on the Ninja Superiority Bandwagon would be well served to <A href="http://www.entertheninja.com/ninja_fun/ninjavs_tomato.shtml" target=_blank>see this</A>.

[Rijacki]

<div><blockquote><hr>Blackguard wrote:/script target:AllNinjaFans("Ban") <div></div><hr></blockquote>For once I am glad to be on the Pirate side.  *dances a hornpipe*</div>

[Didi]

<P>I must admit, OOTS has a very compelling argument.  <img src="/smilies/3b63d1616c5dfcf29f8a7a031aaa7cad.gif" border="0" alt="SMILEY" /></P>

[Ishbu]

<P>Ive generally kept quiet on these debates but that is because I figured everyone would realize that Pirates are far superior to Ninja's.</P> <P>Do ninja's get to run around and yell ARRRGH?  I think not.</P> <P>Even the internetly famous bloodninja role-played a pirate (if you've read it, you know what im talking about, otherwise it is inappropriate to link  <img src="/smilies/8a80c6485cd926be453217d59a84a888.gif" border="0" alt="SMILEY" />)  ARRRRGGHHH!</P> <P>Chuck Norris facts, while entertaining, are pretty much a direct mocking of chuck norris and chuck norris played a semi-ninja in "The Octogon".  That proves that pirates are better.</P> <P>Besides, nobody ever made a movie or an amusement park ride called Ninja's of the Carribean.  </P> <P>ARRGH!</P>

[Boli32]

A Ninja will own a pirate in combat and are in many ways far supirior to pirate <u>but</u> you just can't have a drunk ninja.<div></div>

[Traigus]

Ninjas lose for 1 reason only...Pirates, as a topic, never spawned the travesty of a movie... <i>Ninja 3 :The Domination.</i>Any lifestyle/combat-style that generates <i>Ninja 3: The Domination</i>, automatically forfeits.Have a nice day.-t<div></div>

[DaimyoTx]

<blockquote><hr>Traigus wrote:Ninjas lose for 1 reason only...Pirates, as a topic, never spawned the travesty of a movie... <i>Ninja 3 :The Domination.</i>Any lifestyle/combat-style that generates <i>Ninja 3: The Domination</i>, automatically forfeits.Have a nice day.<div></div><hr></blockquote>I mainly just lurk and never post, but this made me choke from laughing so hard in agreement.Absolutely True!!<div></div>

[*SLiDE*]

<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE> <HR> Blackguard wrote:<BR>/script target:AllNinjaFans("Ban")<BR> <BR> <HR> </BLOCKQUOTE><BR>I told you all not to anger him... now the ninja fans have been hax3d.

[Rastim]

<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE> <HR> Diernes wrote:<BR> <BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><BR>From your logic, I cant see how you can state pirates would win in a battle. Clearly being a pirate is more fun, but in mortal combat due to the dedication in training and subtefuge the Ninja would destroy the Pirate, anyday.</BLOCKQUOTE> <P>Message Edited by Diernes on <SPAN class=date_text>04-27-2006</SPAN> <SPAN class=time_text>01:52 PM</SPAN><BR> <HR> </BLOCKQUOTE> <P><BR>Chris Farley (Beverly Hills Ninja) vs Errol Flynn (Captain Blood)</P> <P>'Nuff said. PIRATES!!!!</P>

[Rijacki]

<div><blockquote><hr>Ishboozor wrote:<div></div>Besides, nobody ever made a movie or an amusement park ride called Ninja's of the Carribean.  <p>ARRGH!</p><hr></blockquote>ArrrrrrrrOne of my favourite rides from about as early as I can remember.  And dining at the Blue Bayou was always something I wanted to do as a kid and teen and never got there early enough to make reservations (the only place within Disneyland where you could make reservations at that time) because I would have had to give up the run at the opening of the park to Space Mountain or Matterhorn or.. drat... the runaway train ride in Frontierland.I even loved watching all the animatronics in Pirates. I have been on that ride probably a thousand times (and even vaguely remember when they did a revamp of it in.. umm.. the late 70s?).  A heap of my childhood memories are associated with that place, that ride and Disneyland.*wafts off into nostolgia*</div>

[DeleahAetherweaver]

<div></div>Pirates of course!  Why?Pirate wenches ... you dont see ninja wenches, just subservient wee things in kimonos....bah!<div></div>

[Tasaz]

Let's look at it this way.... Who would you rather invite to a party?The pirate who is going to be drinking it up, singing, dancing, telling outrageous stories, womanizing, and in general having a lot of fun....Or...The ninja who will spend the night silent, hiding in the shadows of some corner....Sounds like a lot of fun.Pirates 4tw!<div></div>

[*SLiDE*]

<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE> <HR> Tasazar wrote:<BR>Let's look at it this way.... Who would you rather invite to a party?<BR><BR>The pirate who is going to be drinking it up, singing, dancing, telling outrageous stories, womanizing, and in general having a lot of fun....<BR><BR>Or...<BR><BR>The ninja who will spend the night silent, hiding in the shadows of some corner....<BR><BR>Sounds like a lot of fun.<BR><BR>Pirates 4tw!<BR> <BR> <HR> </BLOCKQUOTE> <P><BR>Yeah... but while the drunk Pirate is hitting on your wife, you could hire the sober Ninja to take him out.  </P> <P>Just playing devil's advocate here.</P>

[mungo]

<font color="#00cc66" face="Verdana" size="7">Gaaaaarrrhhhhh!</font><div></div>

[Geero]

<DIV>There are drunken ninjas, you guys need to watch more animes. <img src="/smilies/69934afc394145350659cd7add244ca9.gif" border="0" alt="SMILEY" /></DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Also, if they offer you a drink, which one would you drink?</DIV> <DIV>Ninja is nice hot sake or pirate with cheap stale wine?</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Sorry but answer is clear as summer sky.  Ninja all the way.</DIV>

[mallice]

<P>Ninjas are teh real ultimate power</P> <P><A href="http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm" target=_blank>http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm</A></P> <P>If Blackguard and a Ninja duelled.  The ninja would totally flip out and cut of Blackguard's head.</P> <P> </P>

[SenorPhrog]

<div><blockquote><hr>*SLiDE* wrote:<div></div> <blockquote> <hr> Tasazar wrote:Let's look at it this way.... Who would you rather invite to a party?The pirate who is going to be drinking it up, singing, dancing, telling outrageous stories, womanizing, and in general having a lot of fun....Or...The ninja who will spend the night silent, hiding in the shadows of some corner....Sounds like a lot of fun.Pirates 4tw! <div></div> <hr> </blockquote> <p>Yeah... but while the drunk Pirate is hitting on your wife, you could hire the sober Ninja to take him out.  </p> <p>Just playing devil's advocate here.</p><hr></blockquote>Yes but the sober ninja would probably be meditating, not to mention be on a deserted Pacific island.  By the time he actually walked (heaven forbid they use transportation), the pirate would be very sober and cranky.</div>

[*SLiDE*]

<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE> <HR> Radar-X wrote:<BR> <DIV><BR> <BLOCKQUOTE>Yes but the sober ninja would probably be meditating, not to mention be on a deserted Pacific island.  By the time he actually walked (heaven forbid they use transportation), the pirate would be very sober and cranky.<BR></BLOCKQUOTE></DIV><BR> <HR> </BLOCKQUOTE> <P><BR>How did the ninja get from my party to the deserted "ISLAND"... and why is the Pirate cranky?</P> <P>so... con... fused...</P>

[SenorPhrog]

<div></div><div><blockquote><hr>*SLiDE* wrote:<div></div> <blockquote> <hr> Radar-X wrote: <div> <blockquote>Yes but the sober ninja would probably be meditating, not to mention be on a deserted Pacific island.  By the time he actually walked (heaven forbid they use transportation), the pirate would be very sober and cranky.</blockquote></div> <hr> </blockquote> <p>How did the ninja get from my party to the deserted "ISLAND"... and why is the Pirate cranky?</p> <p>so... con... fused...</p><hr></blockquote>Ninjas don't go to parties....well ok to pajama parties.  Any ninja you hired to hurt someone would have to travel for days.  They are always meditating on an ISLAND.</div><p>Message Edited by Radar-X on <span class=date_text>04-28-2006</span> <span class=time_text>09:23 AM</span>

[Geero]

<DIV>Ninjas meditate on island because...</DIV> <DIV>1. they can walk on water</DIV> <DIV>2. they can walk really fast</DIV> <DIV>3. they can walk really fast on water</DIV>

[Diern]

<P>This thread and the majority of responses supporting pirates  is a perfect example of todays society and its way of thinking.</P> <P>Style over substance...</P> <P>Kinda like how Hip-hop remains so popular while alot of real musicians get nowhere..</P> <P>You people are deluded, Pirates are all flash, all bark little bite. Ninja's are the substance</P>

[Diern]

<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE> <HR> DeleahAetherweaver wrote:<BR> Pirates of course!  Why?<BR><BR>Pirate wenches ... you dont see ninja wenches, just subservient wee things in kimonos....bah!<BR> <BR> <HR> </BLOCKQUOTE> <P><BR>One word for you.</P> <P>Kunoichi.</P> <P>They were female ninjas often employed (to great effect) for high profile assasinations such as samurai lords. use your imagination how they would be able to get that  close......</P> <P>Btw Kunoichi > Pirate Wench. Which is pretty much a myth because women were considered to be "bad luck" on a sea bound vessel. Reinforcing the fact that Pirates are heterosexually challenged.</P> <P> </P> <P> </P> <P> </P>

[Calthine]

<P>The heck with pirate wenches...  look up female pirates.  THOSE were some tough ladies!</P>

[SenorPhrog]

<div><blockquote><hr>Diernes wrote:<div></div> <p>This thread and the majority of responses supporting pirates  is a perfect example of todays society and its way of thinking.</p> <p>Style over substance...</p> <p>Kinda like how Hip-hop remains so popular while alot of real musicians get nowhere..</p> <p>You people are deluded, Pirates are all flash, all bark little bite. Ninja's are the substance</p><hr></blockquote>All bark and little bite?  Fear was used to intimidate so violence wasn't necessary.  Ninja's garnered their legendary status from the usage of fear.   Why didn't ninjas just show up and go face to face?  A) it would be stupid and they would be killed immediately and b) it made their enemies fear them.  Do you ever read of ninjas in a battle?  No.  Pirates operated in a similar manner with fear.  They didn't utilize large galleons or barques in most cases.  Most pirate ships were retrofitted sloops with extra guns, more storage, and trimmed sails.   Most important thing they had was though, was a pirate flag.  People feared it.</div>

[*SLiDE*]

<P><BR> </P> <BLOCKQUOTE> <HR> Calthine wrote:<BR> <P>The heck with pirate wenches...  look up female pirates.  THOSE were some tough ladies!</P><BR> <HR> </BLOCKQUOTE> <P><BR> </P> <P>I think "momma" from Goonies could have been a pirate.</P>

[syous01]

So as many of you know I'm a math professor from Harvard. Last semester I gave my students a thesis, the subject being "Pirates vs. Ninjas : Who wins?" The hard part was proving it mathematically. To my surprise one student turned in a paper and actually offered a solution that broke the laws of math, time and space as we know it. I'll post it here for you. 1 Ninja + 1 Pirate = Chuck Norris <div></div>

[*SLiDE*]

<P>I don't know man... They've tried to merge together with results like this:</P> <P><IMG src="http://enclothe.com/osCommerce/catalog/images/ninja-pirate-large-girls.gif"></P> <P>Which isn't very Norris Like... not that I want to get into any kind of CN discussion at all.</P>

[Geero]

<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE> <HR> Calthine wrote:<BR> <P>The heck with pirate wenches...  look up female pirates.  THOSE were some tough ladies!</P><BR> <HR> </BLOCKQUOTE> <P><BR>Yes, they are tough ladies...   Tough to look at.</P> <P>Missing tooth and smelly since hasn't showered in 3 months.  Yeah, thats the girl I want.</P>

[HornBla]

<P><A href="http://view.break.com/88551" target=_blank>http://view.break.com/88551</A></P> <P> </P> <P>This should help with the debate....</P> <P> </P> <P> </P>

[RedFeather]

<P>Radar is so biased.</P> <P>Notice how Cyborg Vikings didn't get mentioned in this topic after it migrated to community news?</P> <P>Clearly hates the Cyborg Vikings. <img src="/smilies/9d71f0541cff0a302a0309c5079e8dee.gif" border="0" alt="SMILEY" /></P>

[PFBT]

Aaaarg ye yella bellies hide in the shadows. Ifin u wansta fight a pirate lets have a ranged battle...me ships cannons best a metal star any day. Yer just jealous ya cant wear a puffy shirt and jeweled rapier and still look as mean as Momma's homemade jellyfish & tuna sandwiches. An another thing that burns me biscuits is the fact u have ta be Asian to be a Ninja. Pirates dont care who picks up the chest as long as the Captain gets 1/2.....Never eye a pirate's rum ,he may make ya drink. <div></div>

[Hella_Nervous]

<div></div><div><blockquote><hr>RedFeather1975 wrote:<div></div> <p>Cyborg Vikings</p> <p></p><hr></blockquote>OMG! ::brain overload:: ROBOT-PIRATE-NINJA-VIKINGS! WITH A MOHAWK! ::babble and drool::</div><p>Message Edited by irishharp2m6 on <span class=date_text>05-06-2006</span> <span class=time_text>03:46 AM</span>

[Gninja3]

hmm... Gninjas > Pirates > Ninjas <div></div>