Hypernatremia: Divine Thirst (Mature) [Archive]

valkry

10-17-2008, 10:49 AM

Hypernatremia: Divine ThirstSo much sand, if I did not know I knelt on the ground, I could not tell the sky from the dunes. ‘Scourge me with the sand, I failed...' dizzy, keep my face down, arms over my head, so grit does not push past my lids, to lodge in my tearless eyes. ‘Only She can save me, save them. Make me worthy...' I reach for her touch, my mind clouding and darkness takes me as I hear the others' muttered chants through the wind's howl......Father! I set the amulet aside & ran to him, kneeling at his feet. He pulled me up, kissing me on both sides of my face. "Sala! Alby, did your hunt go well?" I looked up to my father's face, burnished as dark as the red sandalwood. His blue eyes twinkled as he handed me his pouch.My mother removed my father's outer robes, carefully keeping the sand from drifting through the house, as my little sister brought Alby the hot mint tea and fresh pears to cool and refresh him.The women saw to his comfort, but my mind was already focused on the items in my father's pack. I carefully extracted each item, unwrapping them, and placing them on the soft wool clothe. My father was a qur'din, one of the hunters who the Courts blessed to protect the city. My father, and others like him, were chosen by the Caliphs of the Courts to go into the desert, to fight the Rujarkians and destroy the abominations that walked.I carefully unfolded the pectoral. While Alby was careful in packing the grave goods, the items would tangle easily in his pack, the old strings knotting or breaking. It was my job to clean and repair the ornaments. The Saracens act like my father is just a grave-robber, but our people know the truth... the mummies that walk are already cursed, why should the atrocities be allowed to keep their provisions for the afterlife they will never reach. It is best to destroy the taint of execrated, and ensure they claim no belongings in this life or the next.So my father would protect our people, while I spent my days repairing the damage of sand and time. And my mother and sister cared for our home, making the strong dark coffee my father drank, cooking his favorite artichoke dip, prickly pears and grilled tiger-shrimp, cleaning his robes, sharpening his weapons, filling the water skins he cared with him...‘Hear my cries! Redeem them through my suffering.' But my cries are heard only in my soul, my mouth cracked and blood-crusted can no longer form words...... I stand in her cell of a room. I would sit next to her, but if I sat on her bed, would it remind her of the men, and if I sat on the chair, would she feel I though her unclean? I stand. She tries to be brave, like she was in the beginning. Now she is just worn down. Her eyes have the dark hollows of one who walks the desert without enough water, but it is not lack of water that is stealing my sister's beauty. The true cause is seen in the faint purple, green and yellow stains on her skin, that she is trying so hard to hide. They are marks of abuse at the hands of the men who come to this place.I would kill those men if I could, I would gut them with my Peshkarj. I would let my knife show them how my sister feels when they take her for their pleasure, and then I would let the sands drink their blood. I would kill every man how dared to touch her, and the man who owns her.If he knew who I was, he would not let me see her. His guards would beat me at the doorway if I tried, but he does not know I am her brother. I visit when I can, but not too often. I pay for my time with her. It is not much, I can not take her from here, yet, but for a few moments, I can buy her time so no other can. I dare not visit often, if he know I had an interest in her, he would charge me more, so I act the poor man who loves the debauchee, that he knows he could never purchase for himself.I often wonder if my sister is relieved to see me, thankful that she doesn't have to deal with another, or does she hate for me to see what she has become, hate me because I remind her of what was? Does she look at me seeing the beggar I appear to be, and see that I eat only what I must, so I can give all of my coins to her, while she is well-feed in this place, or does she just hate me because she is still here?I do not ask her. We do not speak. She sits on the edge of her bed, I stand near the door, saying nothing till my time is up and I place the dinari in her hand...... She touches me with her kiss. I know it is Her. The sky darkens, as the first time I saw Her, yet the Eye of Ro is still high in the sky......Torn!!! I had not realized the waterskin had torn! I was down to my last skin, it should have enough to get me back to the oasis, but the water escaped slowly in the heat, so I didn't feel in trickle down my side, not realize the weight of the water was gone. I would not be able to find water!My sister would never know what happened. I would never return to her cell. Even if anyone ever realized what happened to me, no one would know to tell her my fate. Would she believe I died trying to save her, losing my life scraping coins from the desert so I buy her out of the seraglio. Would she believe I gave up trying to save her, and left keeping the dinari for myself? Would she be able to make a life for herself after working off the debt?I found a small stone, brushed it off & put it in my mouth. It would not help me find water, but it kept my mouth from feeling so dry as I walked. I lay down when the Eye was high overhead, digging into the sand where it was cooler, and covering myself with the protective sand, and shading my head with my robe.When the sky darkened, I would make my way toward the oasis. I would not make it, this I knew, but I might get close enough that my body would be found. No one would know to tell her, but maybe the gods would give me a final blessing. Maybe one of the men would gossip about the beggar found dead in the desert, so close to the oasis... and my sister would know that I didn't not forsake her...After resting through the heat of the day, I began walking again, but the light was not right. It should be darkest towards the sea, but to my right and to my left were equally dark. I searched the sky for the stars to direct me, but instead I saw the Eye still overhead. My body kept walking as my mind tried to puzzle out what was happening. Even though the Eye stayed in the sky, the sides of my vision got darker and darker.Suddenly the ground rotated around me. No, I realized, fighting to rid my mouth of the gritty sand grains, I tripped. I could not make the world I saw stop spinning, then I saw it. Through the blackened haze of my vision, I saw a mighty bird walking towards me. The magical creature had plumage so impressive it defies description, I can only say the feathers appeared to be made from the surface of the sea itself, or perhaps from the gems of a jeweler's bench..."You have seen Her?" Water touched my lips. I greedily licked them, but the water remained slow. "Listen to me. You have seen Her?" I managed to open my eyes enough to realize who aided me. It was one of the fanatics that wandered the sands. I had never heard of them helping anyone, although they might attack someone who got to close to them. "You have seen Her? The Dark Bird?!?" I looked to his face, if he was mad enough to help me, it would not help to anger him. His eyes stunned me. There was a cold intelligence behind the burning madness I saw."Yes, I did see a dark bird. Blue-green like the sea.""You have been blessed, the Goddess knows you for her own. You are not to die, here the desert. More is planned for you. No, death is not for you, not for you." He babbled nonsense, but he rescued me, sharing water and food, leading me to the oasis. I tried to get him to come to the city with me, but he left me as soon as we saw the trees of the wadi, saying "When it is time, come back, the others will find you. Then I can teach you about Her."I would go see my sister, it might be too soon, but I had to tell her what happened, I had to talk to her...... My lips crack and bleed, but I can not help but smile, remembering the dim splendor of my Queen. I feel the heaviness of the full skins, sloshing against my side, and I glory in the fact that I have not taken a drink......I heard the wailing as I turned into the courtyard. Only when I saw that the crowd was near my building, did I recognize my mother's voice.The men must have told my mother what happened, but how my Alby was killed, I never found out. Instants earlier I had been rejoicing. I had made a good profit on the trinkets I sold. Now my life was ruined. I did not realize it at the time. Maybe my mother did, but my little sister and I did not. Gone was the money, the house, the future, with my father's life. His Court offered help, but we were not in a position to understand the price we would pay for such ‘help.'My mother tried to overcome her grief, tried to provide for us. We moved to a smaller home, sold off belongings, moved to a smaller home, sold off the items we had saved because they had been Father's. My mother took in sewing, my sister helped, I worked as I could, but it was never enough to pay back the ‘loans' from the Court.If I had realized, maybe I could have befriended a Saracen, somehow found passage on a ship to their lands. Instead my mother died from grief and overwork. My sister and I went to the Court, hoping they would give her the rites to join my father in the afterworld. Our pleas had no effect. We were told by the Court, that once honored our Alby as a hero, that they would dispose of the body, but could not waste money on rites for the poor. Everything we owned, would be claimed by the Court, as repayment for the unpaid debt. I was to survive as best as I could, there was nothing to be gained from someone who hadn't reached manhood.There was value to be gained from a woman-child.I lived on the streets, stealing food, coins. I found a broken knife no one bothered to repair. I finally save enough to bribe a grifter to find out what happened to my sister. I did not bother to question his motives for aiding me, but gratefully barrowed a clean robe, and presented myself as a customer at the seraglio she was imprisoned at. I managed to find her, and in her cell, we planned how we would free her. I tried to see only her bravery, the fierce honor and pride we learned from Alby. We did not realize how long it would take.We were so innocent. We figured it would take us to the season turn, maybe longer. When I returned from the first trip into the sands, I learned I could not sell to the Courts as I had in the past...the goods I offered were taken from me to pay the debt that was left... after my sister was sold. The grifters would buy my items, but could only give me part of the value. I waited the weeks to see her only to learn that she also had grave news. She had given the dinari I had given her to her master, only to be called a thief. She begged, explaining that it was a gift from a patron, but the Bagino-owner beat her. My sister never said so, but her simple words created a clear image in my mind... The jovial proprietor, who teases me about the girl I love, describing her in glowing terms as one of his finest, taking her himself then disparaging and criticizing her as he beat her, claiming she could never have pleased anyone enough to earn so large a token of esteem. It would be years, not a season as we hoped, but my sister slowly rationed out the coins I gave her, carefully hiding them in her cell, so they would not be stolen when it was searched. She doled out small amounts, never enough to risk the master deciding to steal it all. Of the treasures I found, only a small measure of their value actually went to my sister's debt, but we hoped, for we had nothing left......I hear the one next to me fall. Crawling in the dune I, and another, reach him. The other lifts and steadies the fallen's head, as I find his flask, dribbling moisture onto his shaking lips. We do not drink for ourselves, what is this body but a dried husk? But this husk is all we have to worship Her. If one falls, the others will revive him, but we do not interfere before. We do not willing take the water of this place, not when we seek the water of endless life......I stumbled, running towards the oasis. Struggling to stand, I realize my feet were entangled, caught in something buried in the sand. Digging, I realize with horror and joy what I have found. A caravan must have been attacked by a patrol of Orcs. I found bones of Men, camels, Orcs mixed with packs, like the one that tangled my feet. Somehow they must have all been killed, maybe by a sandstorm, before either party could escape with the treasures. My heart rejoiced with thanks to the dark bird who had saved my life, and had lead me to these riches that would save my sister. Carefully I selected the best items, the spices in their sealed boxes, the gems and jewels, rare unguents and oils in their bottles, even a length of fine silk that had not gone brittle as it lay protected under the sand.Even if you never speak, the crowd somehow always knows your fortune. By the time I had sold the treasures, the masses knew that I had found enough riches to ensure my heart's desire. The crowd followed me to the seraglio where my sister was held. I smiled at how the dark bird has blessed me again... the panderer could not barter away my overpayment of my sister's debt. The crowd would keep him honest, for no man wants to risk disfavoring one who is blessed by the gods, as the crowd thought I was.The master appeared after his servant opened the door. "I have come to pay the debt of the girl."Taking in the crowd, he said, "I can not let you buy her. She is not here. The Court of Truth holds her body and the man, that stole the life of my property." The dark crashed in on me. I remember dreaming of the grifters..."We must get him out, if they find him, he is dead. Spread the dinari, let the crowd forget who killed the [Removed for Content]-master in riots for fortune. Save only enough to buy his sister's rites." I tried to focus on the one who spoke, but just remember the robe, not Coins or Truth, but an orange shade..."You have seen Her?" Water touched my lips. I greedily licked them, but the water remained slow. I managed to open my eyes enough to realize who aided me. It was the prophet that wandered the sands. "You have seen Her? The Dark Bird?!?" There was the same cold intelligence behind the burning madness I saw in his eyes.With nothing else to live for, I followed the prophet, listening to his strange words. Slowly I came to understand... my sister was already taken from me, before the goddess had saved me. The Prophet had lead me to the wadi, and She provided the treasure, only so I might return to her with an open heart, not yearning for someone already lost.But my sister, my mother, Alby, they were not truly lost. The dark bird grows the iridescent plumes by feasting on the venomous desert snakes... taking the poison into herself and creating life from it. The Prophet taught me that the water that man thirsts for, is only temporary life, but that only She can give the drink that brings eternal life, only She can defeat death.All that I am I give to Her, the radiant Dark Bird, may she find me worthy & return those who death has stolen from me... Author's notes: This short story was inspired by a <a rel="nofollow" href="http://forums.station.sony.com/eq2/posts/list.m?topic_id=431256" target="_blank">discussion thread I started on the Lore forum</a>. I got wondering about the desert lunatics and madmen. Out there, going insane from Hypernatremia (or commonly called dehydration), yet carrying enough flasks that in EQ1 we called them "water-boys." Why would someone willfully reject the needs of their body and embrace the madness of the body and brain malfunctioning? The only two answers I could come up with were love for those dearest to us, and devotion to a higher ideal or power. This is my attempt to use the imagery of the Sul lore (with a bit of Judeo-Christian flavoring to the in game symbology) to offer a 'logical' explination of how a normal person could sinking into madness and the worship of a death-cult.