Hawk Dive: Coming to a Dragon near you

[Jay]

<DIV> <DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=887290314-26092006>We've talked a lot about the mechanics behind the Hawk Dive CA, with details about the aggro siphon and raid effectiveness. And I'm the first to admit that I've learned a lot about this bizarre CA from those discussions. </SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=887290314-26092006></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=887290314-26092006>But a</SPAN>m I the only one that <SPAN class=887290314-26092006>laughs at the ludicrous spectacle this </SPAN>CA <SPAN class=887290314-26092006>would create </SPAN>in the reality of the game?</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Imagine: you're a dragon. A big, nasty, arrogant dragon. Secure in your lair, you've eaten hundreds of intrepid fools who have come to test their mettle against your august majesty, or to steal your horded treasures. And here come some more! A few dozen so-called adventurers have slain your loyal minions, burst into your lair, and set about you with stinging blades and magic that burns through your protective scales. <SPAN class=887290314-26092006>Balls </SPAN>of fire hurl from the sky to singe your wings. Meddlesome sneaky creatures bury weapons in your haunches and tail and pain rips through your body. You slash with your claws and send many <SPAN class=887290314-26092006>sprawling, blood and gore spattering the floor. But they gain their feet and persist, restored by means of healing magic! You blast the plate-clad warrior in front of you with your withering breath weapon, yet she emerges unscathed! A huge chilling blast of cold engulfs your body as an enchanted boulder of ice crashes down on your back! Dark magics cause your very blood to fester and boil in your veins! </SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=887290314-26092006></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=887290314-26092006>But wait...what's that one with the bow doing back there? She's gesturing strangely...what's this? A BIRD?!? She has somehow produced a HAWK, that most terrifying avian destroyer, <EM>and it's headed straight for you</EM>. You roar in fear and defiance, completely forgetting the small army laying siege to your sacred lair, and concentrate solely on this new, fearful menace flying toward you. The bird radiates fear and hatred from its small, brown, feathered body! You must destroy this abomination that violates all that is right, its very existance an offense against all dragonkind! </SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=887290314-26092006></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=887290314-26092006>Meanwhile, a few dozen adventurers continue to hack away at your scaled body, rending your scaled flesh with their weapons, magic sizzling and crackling through the air of your chamber, renewing their efforts to vanquish you as your attention is riveted on this dire airborne threat.</SPAN></DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=887290314-26092006></SPAN> </DIV> <DIV><SPAN class=887290314-26092006>But... THE BIRD!! It pecks at your eyes and emits a horrible "cheep-cheep!" that chills your very blood! It must be destroyed!! Forget the score of loathsome creatures piercing your hide and draining your very will, this tiny beaked invader will pay for its insolence. Ow! <EM>It pecked your eye again!</EM> The nerve of some species! You gather your power and unleash a blast of magic at this feathered fiend, but it suddenly disappears! What?!? Some illusion, designed to terrify all dragonkind?? BAH! You will have your revenge, starting with that blasted ranger...</SPAN></DIV></DIV></DIV>

[Rahmn]

A very visual experience.

[Prandtl]

<P>ROFL</P> <P>The hawk didn't seem very scaru until you put it that way, Jay.  Now I'm going to be itching to launch my hawk as soon as I get home.</P>

[Deml]

LOL!  Death by Tweety!

[Jay]

I just got to thinking about why this took the form of a bird (okay, nature stuff = rangers, got that), and that led me to picturing how this would work in a real battle. And it would look so absurd, so utterly ridiculous, that I had to laugh. I mean really, what self respecting Heroic (let alone Epic) mob is going to be distracted by a freakin' <EM>bird</EM>? If anything, it'd just cause any tough beastie to laugh at you. What's worse, the members of your group / raid would likely join in. :smileysad:

[Raahl]

<DIV>Dragons are a form of a worm anyway.  So they must be death enemies with any bird creatures..  Right?  <img src="/smilies/283a16da79f3aa23fe1025c96295f04f.gif" border="0" alt="SMILEY" /></DIV>

[Saihung23]

<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE> <HR> Jay42 wrote:<BR> I just got to thinking about why this took the form of a bird (okay, nature stuff = rangers, got that), and that led me to picturing how this would work in a real battle. And it would look so absurd, so utterly ridiculous, that I had to laugh. I mean really, <FONT color=#ffff00>what self respecting Heroic (let alone Epic) mob is going to be distracted by a freakin' <EM>bird</EM>?</FONT> If anything, it'd just cause any tough beastie to laugh at you. What's worse, the members of your group / raid would likely join in. :smileysad:<BR> <HR> </BLOCKQUOTE> <P><BR>well...I know you remember this bird...</P> <P><IMG src="http://www.podster.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/fotos/bubo.gif"></P> <P> </P> <P>and this Epic monster was pretty distracted by it....</P> <P> </P> <P><IMG src="http://www.aintitcool.com/images/comiccon2005/Kraken.jpg"></P> <P>lol...I need me a metal owl instead of a hawk.</P>

[Gerdos]

<DIV>classic Sai, classic </DIV> <DIV>old memories ..... i recently watched "The Beastmaster" ... (baaaddd - although loved it when it 1st came out) .. </DIV> <DIV>(/drool Tanya Roberts)</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Clash of the Titans, coming next ...</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV> </DIV>

[Shoenasty]

Ha Ha Ha Jay.........that was good story man.  But I agree,  we should have some sort of fairy flying around his head or something.  You know how beasties love a good chicky.

[Huntress Jellica]

<font color="#6699ff">Nice, Jay. The idea was always absurd to me, but you just put it perfectly <span>:smileyvery-happy:</span> </font><div></div>

[Teksun]

[Removed for Content] that's hillarious <img src="/smilies/3b63d1616c5dfcf29f8a7a031aaa7cad.gif" border="0" alt="SMILEY" />The 85lvl upgrade will be a ferret....<div></div>

[Saihung23]

<P>Ooooh....ferrets!  Then Bongo will really be a beastlordmaster fer sure!</P> <P> </P> <P>Maybe we can get two!</P>

[Jay]

<P>Wow, Sai... just... wow. That was a huge leap to the Clash of the Titans connection, complete with Kraken... but good call. LOL!</P>

[Saihung23]

<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE> <HR> Jay42 wrote:<BR> <P><FONT color=#ffff00>Wow, Sai... just... wow</FONT>. That was a huge leap to the Clash of the Titans connection, complete with Kraken... but good call. LOL!</P><BR> <HR> </BLOCKQUOTE> <P><BR>When I see that in response to something I wrote....I always get a good feeling <img src="/smilies/69934afc394145350659cd7add244ca9.gif" border="0" alt="SMILEY" /></P> <P> </P> <P>I liked the story btw...very good </P>

[KnightOfTheWo]

<div></div>Dang that was a good story Kaeros. Humor is needed in the Ranger forums!! I made the BIG mistake of trying to make a "funny" post in a DPS thread (The Topic That Shall Not Be Named) and wow, what a derail. They sent me packing in a hurry. Anyway...maybe you can write a monthly feature for us <span>:smileysurprised:</span><div></div><p>Message Edited by KnightOfTheWord on <span class=date_text>09-27-2006</span> <span class=time_text>10:05 AM</span>

[Jay]

<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE> <HR> KnightOfTheWord wrote:<BR> Anyway...maybe you can write a monthly feature for us <SPAN>:smileysurprised:</SPAN><BR> <P></P> <HR> </BLOCKQUOTE> <P>Hmm, that sounds suspiciously like responsibility. Bleh! How about semi-annual? <img src="/smilies/8a80c6485cd926be453217d59a84a888.gif" border="0" alt="SMILEY" /></P> <P>Though out of nowhere, it occurs to me that Bongo's graphics skills might be a hilarious way to compliment a story like that...</P>

[Deml]

<DIV>Now taking bets that the next Bongo comic, or one in the near future, has the tiger making a reference to the bird drawing agro and distracting a dragon, or small orc pawn.</DIV>

[Davcre]

<P>i nominate this as post of the year, gg</P> <P>very entertaining!</P>

[TaleraRis]

<DIV>ROFL</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Good one, Kae and Sai</DIV>

[schla]

<div>OMG hahaha awesome JayThis would make a great eq2 cartoon</div>

[KnightOfTheWo]

<div><blockquote><hr>Demlar wrote:<div>Now taking bets that the next Bongo comic, or one in the near future, has the tiger making a reference to the bird drawing agro and distracting a dragon, or small orc pawn.</div><hr></blockquote>I'm voting for the Bongo comic. Come on Bongo...we want the comic! <span>:smileywink:</span></div>

[Judist]

Makes me think of elephants being scared [expletive haxx0red by Raijinn] less of mice cuz they can run up (in) the trunk... actually true.

[LoreLady]

Just reminds me of monty pithons quest for the holy grail.. The OH SO EVIL BUNNY OF DOOM!Seriously, everytime I use my hawk - thats what comes to mind.

[Jay]

You know, I've never thought of the correlation, but that must be it. The dragons know something we don't about our own hawk!

[xandez]

lol teh killer bunny... MUAHA <img src="/smilies/283a16da79f3aa23fe1025c96295f04f.gif" border="0" alt="SMILEY" />Yah, maybe ours is a killer hawk (a ranger killer obviously... lol)++Xan<div></div>

[Teksun]

<div><blockquote><hr>Jay42 wrote:<div></div>You know, I've never thought of the correlation, but that must be it. The dragons know something we don't about our own hawk!<hr></blockquote>The feathers tickle their throats when they swallow them... yeah, that must be it.</div>