Odes and Poems to Post LU 20 Rangers [Archive]

SIlly Muffin

02-22-2006, 10:38 PM

<div></div><div> There once were Rangers who could pluck itMobs by the dozen they could kill like a cricket Now they’re raising a din, as wizards do grinThe whiners finally got you royally frikked<div>----- </div> Tier one not zero classThat was the glorious dev plan<div>Now down the can----</div>'Twas the after update, when all through the housenot a Ranger was happy , not even the mouse.The longbows were hung by the outhouse with care,in hopes they would be mode useful there. The casters were nestled all smug in their heads,while visions of DPS danced in their heads.And rangers in their pains, got nothing but sap ,As they just lost all their DPS in cold winter's snap. When out on the forums there arose such a clatter,Smed sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.Away to the studio he flew with song,tore open the donuts, and rolled up a bong. The lag on the servers was painfully slowIt gave the lustre of molasses to objects in tow,when, what to their wondering eyes should appear,but another WOW rip-off and for the new year. With a little old gas, so lively and quick,They knew in a moment there must be trick.rangers more damage than we want, they claim,and he whistled and shouted and gimped them in game: "Now Slower! Now Gimper!Now, Nerfed and Broken!On, Wizards! On, Casters, With Ice Comet ya Blitzin ‘!To the top of the tiers!To the top of them wall!Now DPS away! DPS away!DPS away all!" As dry heaves that before the realization set in,when they meet no obstacle, to ranger gimpin’so up to the tiers even the tanks!, they flew,to Smed, the marketers and the old lady from Kalamazoo. efore the update I heard on the loofAll the whining and crying of each little oof.As dreamed in my head that EQ was turning around,Instead, down the crapper it came with a sound. Once the tanks were slow and tough, happy old trolls,and I laughed when I saw then, but they knew their roles.A wink of their eyes and a twist of their headsThey now out DPS’d me – I had something to dread. The healer spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,and salving all the wounds, then turned with a jerk.And laying his finger aside of his nose,and giving a nod, as even his DPS rose. With deep sigh my team gave a whistle,And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.But I heard them exclaim, 'ere they rode out of sight, "next time get a Wizard instead or we’ll be here all night!" --- Muffin PS not meant as a flame, but humour for these dark times....</div>