emjace
07-04-2006, 04:51 PM
<DIV><SPAN class=postbody>As he carefully pulls the can opener attachment on his Swiss Army Penknife, it sprung back last time and gave him a really nasty cut and he’s currently out of plasters, Nigel proceeds, with almost surgical precision, to cut a small square in the tin breastplate.<BR><BR>Rummaging through his utility belt he quickly pulls out a clothes peg and proceeds to place it on his nose, he always hates this bit. With trepidation and a little bit of excitement, he slowly pulls back the newly made opening, even with the peg blocking out most of the stink, he almost wretches from the smell.<BR><BR>The smell, boy, the smell...this might help a little. Close your eyes and try to imagine what it would be like, ‘Oi, come back, no imagining sunny beaches and scantily clad chicks now’, opening a tin of cat food that’s about five years out of date. Imagine as that five year old, by now really furry, probably green, delicate selection of the odd bovine part, that they wouldn’t even throw into burgers, swills around the can. There you go, that brought you back down with a bump. That’s what an old Orc, that's been dead for around six weeks and encased in tin armour smells like…with the heat and the flies, after a month or so, its done to a turn.<BR><BR>Holding his breath, remember the peg only blocks out part of the smell, he unzips another pouch on his utility belt. Nigel smiles to himself, ‘Fantastic’. He still has a sachet of Tomato Ketchup left. It’s great what these smelly bipeds throw away.<BR><BR>Delicately, if he’s careful one sachet can last for weeks, he tears open the top corner and squeezes the bottom, a more than liberal serving spills over into the newly made hatch.<BR><BR>There’s nothing nicer than a bit of dead Orc, smeared with tomato ketchup for breakfast in the morning. Of course washed down with a cup of Earl Grey, yup that's from another pouch on the utility belt.<BR><BR>Oh, about that utility belt, before anyone asks, well rats don’t have pockets, Silly. Where else would you keep your penknife, tomato sauce and those really important nose, sorry, clothes pegs.<BR><BR>Six inches long, light grey and furry, ‘Keep it clean, there could be kids watching’, Nigel is a fine specimen of a Town Rat. None of this Sewer Rat nonsense, if you get too close to one of those, goodness knows what you might end up catching.<BR><BR>Regular meals of dead Orc, Troll and the odd Elf keep his coat in great condition and really shiny, hey it must work, he has sixty three children and four wives to look after, he’s continually tired but always smiling.<BR><BR>Breakfast finished, a quick wash, he scrambles down the cobbled road, whistling away to himself, he also plays the drums, but that’s another tail, sorry that was really bad, ehm, story... </SPAN></DIV> <P><SPAN class=postbody></SPAN> </P> <P><SPAN class=postbody>M.</P> <DIV><BR><BR><BR></DIV></SPAN>