Kaitar
05-18-2005, 03:13 AM
<DIV>Today I start a Journal because every Evil Wizard of Doom certainly needs to record his or her thoughts and events.</DIV> <DIV>I bought this nifty little item from an Ogre that sells them... in fact he said if I *didn't* buy one from him, he would break my arms</DIV> <DIV>and shove my tail down my throat. Ahem...besides, I suppose 20 silver isn't...too much for such a nice journal.</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>I keep having the strangest things happen to me. Like the other day...I was wandering in the Common Lands when a Troll, in heavy plate armor, ran up to me.</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>"Lizzerd is cute"</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Now what the heck would you say if an 8 foot tall Troll called you cute?</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>"Why, thank you sir. But don't eat me."</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>"No, won't eat you. Rats cuter though...tickle going down."</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Then he grabbed my tail. Yes...my tail. I had no idea what to do so I just kind of grinned and stood there. I mean, are you going to tell an 8 foot tall troll that's got a huge sword he can't play with your tail? Then he took off his helmet. Now maybe he's a handsome fellow as far as Trolls go, but boy I wish he would have kept it on. He had a bone going through his nose and some pretty mean looking teeth.</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>"Me a Red colered Trullie"</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>"Indeed you are sir!" (he was very red colored, and smelled.... eh....like a Troll, you get the idea)</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>"Bye lizzerd, I go to Fallen Gate now!"</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>And off he went. My tail was safe. I don't know what the big Troll wanted but... I'm glad he didn't eat me. Or worse. Of course I *am* a pretty cute li...er Iksar. So you can't really blame the Troll for admiring my handsomeness. *Now only if a pretty lady would notice!*</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>More strange things happened just today. I was walking along in West Freeport when something caught hold of my back pocket. I turned to see a little Ratonga trying to pickpocket me! Well... to make a long story short I warned her that it was dangerous to pick pocket from Iksar because they'd been known to make Ratonga caserole now and then.... and if I hadn't been an evil vegetarian she'd have been in big trouble. But I wasn't really angry, first of all because I'm broke so I didn't have much to steal in the first place... and second because...well it's not really evil to get upset over a mere pickpocket. Instead I went to the tavern and had a nice conversation with the little Ratonga.</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>I had my first ale, too. And then I had another...and then things got blurry but when I woke up a while ago, I was covered in blueberry juice and had fur in my mouth. I hope I DIDN'T eat her! Oh what have I done!!! And who would have thought Ratonga were stuffed with Blueberries? It's not easy being evil...</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>I often wonder why I can't seem to grasp the Sebilisian language very well. I try very hard to hiss properly but instead I just end up spitting on myself and that's definately more gross than diabolical and evil. And I wonder why the Iksar ladies always threaten to skin me alive if I so much as smile at them. It must be because they fear my obvious Powers of Doom, and have to boast in order to feel better about themselves. Yes, that's definately it. And it turns out Iksar ladies *do not* like flowers, and will cram them in unmentionable places when you try to give them a nice bunch of them.</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Tomorrow I will work on the obvious plans; Take over the World, Improve my Cooking (I made cookies today!), Run away from some Orcs in Terror, Practice my Evil Laughter, and Polish my Scales. Maati will certainly be proud that I have come so far, once she gets back from her training.</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>So for now I close and will add more as soon as something Interesting happens; </DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>R.B.</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>((yes, the Troll thing really did happen, and it cracked me up :smileytongue: as did meeting Keeran in West Freeport *he gave her a drunken smooch on the cheek (nothing perverse I might add, he's not that kind of Iksar :smileywink: ). I'll add a few little blogs to this now and then when something humorous happens or some RP event ...whatever. hehe ))</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV> </DIV>