Odium
06-29-2006, 01:24 AM
<DIV>From your local Necromancers Union, the freeport Observer:</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV> <P>In this issue of The Freeport Observer:</P> <P>- Tenebrous Tangle invaded by Golems!</P> <P>- Blackburrow Gnolls get new contract!</P> <P>- Rujarkian Orcs reach settlement with Cyclops’</P> <P>- Rumors of the Drinking Dead Exposed!</P> <P>- Huuptic breeding Frenzy! –Freeport experiment gone wrong!</P> <P>- Crafters working overtime</P> <P>TENEBROUS TANGLE INVADED BY GOLEMS!!</P> <P>In the latest report from the "Tangle" Archie Cogenwalker has uncovered a mass of Golems guarding what appears to be the entrance to a secret Sanctum on the temple grounds. "I was just walking along and…WHAMO! They appeared" – said local wizard Jethro Mistri. The locals were as surprised as anyone at the sudden appearance of these ominous constructs and it can only mean one thing – Qeynos is at it again. "It’s a known fact that the Qeynos Ministry of Golem Investigation is actually a secret black-ops golem training facility" – said a local who wished to remain nameless. The Observer will look into this so called "Black-ops" facility and bring you the latest. "I like the Golems" reported an adventuring Ranger. "I say- Bring it on" – it should be noted that this Ranger is based in Qeynos - might he be an agent of this "Black Ops" facility?</P> <P>BLACKBURROW GNOLLS GET NEW CONTRACT!</P> <P>After failed negotiations, the Blackburrow Gnolls were scheduled to go on strike when in a surprising change of heart – the Antonican Council agreed to the Gnoll’s contract demands. In short, the Gnolls get two lunch breaks, vacation time, over time pay and a bunch of new powerful treasures. It’s also been rumored that the Gnolls negotiated for more dangerous tunnels – whatever that means. It clear that Adventurers will be swarming into Blackburrow to get those new treasures, but one question remains……where do Gnolls go on vacation?</P> <P>RUJARKIAN ORCS REACH SETTLEMENT WITH CYCLOPS’</P> <P>A long time confusion has finally come to an end – Orcs are not Cyclops’. For years Adventurers were getting Cyclops kill credit for killing certain Orcs. Needless to say the two factions were more than a little irritated – some Orcs even attempted to grow a third eye, on their big toe, just to stand out. In a swift decision the Freeport Ministry of Creature Relations decreed that Orcs are not Cyclops and vice versa. It is expected that the Qeynos Bureau of Creature Control will follow suit. In an uncharacteristic move, the Rujarkian Orcs declared a national Orc Holiday and suspended efforts to kill everything in sight for 24 hours. (Adventurers excluded).</P> <P>RUMORS OF THE DEAD DRINKING EXPOSED!</P> <P>Last month we reported tales that the dead were still drinking – even if deceased! We hired an expert – bob smith – to look into the issue. "Its strange, at first I was going to report that the dead were indeed drinking, then I realized that I was drinking and thus, intoxicated and so was probably just imagining it." Needless to say we fired Bob. All evidence of the dead drinking has in two words – dried up.</P> <P>HUUPTIC BREEDING FRENZY! – A Freeport experiment gone wrong?</P> <P>Investigative reporter Archie Cogenwalker uncovered a strange Huuptic frenzy in his latest report:</P> <P>"Huuptic here, Huuptic there, everywhere a Huuptic!! Its like Huuptic mania here fellow citizens and these babies are popping babies like its going out of style. "I killed at least 5 and I no sooner turned around when …like…in a flash, they were all back"!! - Said local Huuptic hunter Cranston Pickler – Warlock. Perhaps it’s in the water, or the air, but whatever it is, the Huuptics are re-popping faster and something needs to be done. Could this be a Freeport experiment gone wrong? - Well, the Huuptics ain’t talking but from this veteran of Freeport, its smells like the Overlords work.</P> <P> </P> <P>CRAFTERS WORKING OVERTIME!</P> <P>In the latest round of unexplained events, crafters have reported longer working hours and the disappearance of ingredients! "its true", said a local jeweler, "One minute I’m running between crafting tables to make all the stuff I need for my new ring and the next I find myself pumping out rings like there’s no tomorrow. All over Norrath, the reports are the same. Crafters everywhere are finding they don’t need to make sub-combines anymore! "its elementary really" –claims Bildrit Twillder, Qeynos Bureau of Odd Happenings – "Its simply the natural end result of Qeynos City’s dedication to reducing worker stress while increasing production". Whatever the reason, Crafters sure seem happy about it.</P> <P> </P> <P>The FREEPORT OBSERVER – on a never-ending quest to keep citizens informed</P><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT></DIV> <DIV> </DIV>