Alfgand
07-10-2005, 05:26 AM
<div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><p><font size="2"><span>Standing outside SoE HQ last week with my "Fix the Wizards" picket sign, I spotted one of the SoE Janitor guys heading out of the building. I flagged him down and offered him 20 bucks for his uniform shirt. He agreed and soon I was strolling down the halls of SoE HQ. </span><span></span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>The first floor was devoted to EQ 1 and thus was mostly empty except for a couple people in a cubicle eating pizza and playing some game and mumbling "all your base are belong to us". Their crazed laughter was eerie.</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>The second floor was SWG. This floor was scary; most of the employees were actually dressed as Imperial Storm Troopers.</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>I saw one group of developers pointing at a screen and laughing at a group of players. One said, "Now watch when I do this...."</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>I spotted a broom along the wall and grabbed it, figuring I had better look the part of a janitor. I was slowly making my way toward the elevator to the third floor when out in front me of jumped a short fat guy in a red T-shirt and yellow shorts. The rather odd thing was he had a long black cape and a Darth Vader helmet on. He waved around a Toys R Us plastic light saber in the air in front of me in a rather threatening manner.</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>Well this was about the last thing I expected to see and frankly, it rather scared me. Looking right at me he suddenly shouted, "Come over to the dark side, Luke!" Then after a few noisy heavy breaths, he swung the light saber at my head! I had no choice but to defend myself with the broom. Hitting the broom, the red painted plastic light saber broke in half with a loud snap.</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>Having about as much of this as I cared to, I ran to the elevator. As I pushed the button for the third floor, I glanced back at "Darth" and saw him sitting on the floor, holding the pieces of his broken light saber, crying as if it were his favorite kitten with a broken paw.</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>Broom now at the ready I walked out on the third floor. Sitting behind a desk next to elevator was a woman receptionist. I tried not to stare but she looked just like and even had the same skimpy outfit of Antonia Bayle!</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>Giving me a sneer for staring, she snapped, “What are you doing here?”<span> </span>“This floor has already been done.”</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>Making an effort to look at her eyes while I spoke, I replied, “Umm, ah, ah, they called for a clean up.”</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>“Well, Toby” as she looked at the name tag on my disguise shirt, “Get on with it.”</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>“Yes, Ma’am” and I moved down the hall. Trying to hide my surprise, I tried not react with shock as I saw a number of “Antonia’s” all it the same outfit, all looking identical, apparently functioning as secretaries.</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>As I continued down the hall, a tall thin man in a black suit, white shirt, black tie and sunglasses, ordered me in a commanding yet somewhat unearthly sounding voice, “In here we need you clean up a spill.” </span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>Marveling at the coincidence, I entered what was evidently a large conference room. At the center was a large oval conference table with about twenty of these <i>same looking</i> “Men in black” standing near by.</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>As I moved to pick up the trash from a garbage can that tipped over, one of the MiB called the meeting to order.</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>As they each sat down, they pulled from their pockets a small object about the size of a matchbox car and placed in front of them on the table. Taking a closer look, I saw what it was. It was a small rubber replica of reddish brown toad ! !</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>“Ok, lets get on with this and finalize the Combat “Upgrade” said the man sitting at the end of the table. A small burst of laughter occurred as the man said the word upgrade. </span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>After staying and listening as long as I felt I could, I made my way out of the room and down the fire escape as I did not want to meet “Darth Yellow Shorts” again.</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>Well here is the skinny on what I overheard…<!-- [endif] --></span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>Warlock's will have their DPS doubled since the “Devs” or “MiB’s” as I now call them, feel that Warlocks are completely underpowered.</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>Wizard DPS will be cut in half but in return will get some new utilities and spell modifications.</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>All Wizard DPS spells will get new names and functions. Wizard spells will no longer be based on fire and ice rather on warming and cooling.</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>Some examples are:</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>Ball of Flames will now be called Warming Camp Fire, or WCF. This new spell will warm the mob and make it feel cozy, thus dropping its guard.</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>Immolation will now be called Al’Kabor’s Hot Foot. This spell will cause the mobs feet to smolder and distract it from the battle.</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>Ice Cream Cone will replace Ice Comet. This is a “Damage over Time” spell. When cast by the Wizard, large balls of Ice Cream will fall from the sky causing a mob to have a 2 percent chance of slipping and falling, missing a turn. At the end of three rounds, the ice cream will stop and a large wafer cone will fall from the sky with a 5 percent chance of hitting the mob for up to 50 points of damage. The Master version will feature a more dangerous, pointy end type sugar cone, rather than the regular flat-bottomed type. <!-- [endif] --></span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>Evac will however be taken from us and given to Warlocks as they have felt left out.</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>But all is not lost; Wizards get a replacement spell called Vacuum. This new handy utility spell will summon all the corpses of the killed mobs, right to the group leaders feet for easy looting. This should further expand the need for Wizards in a group setting.</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>That’s about all I could glean while I was there. </span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>Oh, one last thing I heard is that they may change our class name from Wizard to “Dweeb”.</span></font></p><p><font size="2"><span>I urge my fellow Wizards to try to duplicate my “fact gathering” and get more insider information on the upcoming “Combat Upgrade”</span></font></p><div></div><p><span class="time_text"> </span></p><p><span class="time_text"> </span></p><p>Message Edited by Alfgand on <span class="date_text">07-09-2005</span> <span class="time_text">07:08 PM</span></p><p>Message Edited by Alfgand on <span class=date_text>07-09-2005</span> <span class=time_text>07:08 PM</span>